Important issues 19/04/2018 15:43

programmerslife.tech

The .tech domains have been adopted by many tech companies. It's common, today, to find out websites like ces.tech, viacom.tech or hipsters.tech. That's why we changed our domain to programmerslife.tech.

And we're in a partnership with Radix to offer a great deal: with >VDP18 coupon you can register your .tech domain with 90% OFF. It's only $4.99 for 1 year or $24.99 for 5 years!

Go to get.tech and register your domains!

Transcription ↓

Boss: Ah! Good that you’re here. I wanted to talk about something important.
Boss: I have been told that you guys are using Tabs. I think you know already what our startup’s principles are, regarding the Tabs v. Spaces issue. And what is this I hear about using Capital letters in commit messages?
Programmer: All right, boss. Those things sure are important. But you know what’s really important? Being relevant over being generic.
Programmer: Good lord! The company's domain name alonsoftsolutionsandtechnology.com is terrible! Why not use a domain like alonsoft.tech?
Programmer: It’s smarter, shorter, impactful and also, let’s be honest, just a better domain name.
Boss: No, I have a better idea...
Boss: Why don't we change our domain name to alonsoft.tech? It’s smarter, shorter, impactful... and a really better name!
Programmers: PLOP!
--
Camiseta: programmerslife.tech

I already have the domain 15/03/2018 02:41

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Original: Já tenho o domínio

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "@rogeriocs";

User: I'm starting a new business and I want to hire you to create an e-commerce for it...
Programmer: Cool, what will you gonna sell?
User: I don't know yet... The only thing I already have is the domain: asdrubalcosmetics.store
Programmer: So, will you sell cosmetics?
User: We don't know yet...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: That's enough for today

Right Column 30/01/2017 09:46

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Original: Coluna Logo

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "marlon de frança xavier";

Programmer: Alonso, who did create the products table?
Alonso: Me...
Programmer: Why does it has a column named "right" storing the products' barcodes?
Alonso: The boss asked for... Look...
email: "... insert a column right after ID column to store the barcodes"
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: That's enough for today

ls-l 24/01/2017 03:31

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Original: ls -l

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "leonidas kirotawa";

Alonso: You know about Linux, right? How can I list the files in terminal?
Programmer: Type "ls -l"
Alonso: No, it's not right... "Command not found"
Programmer: It can't be, It's native... Let me see what did you type...
On screen:
[email protected]gs-bunny:~$ s
s: command not found
[email protected]:~$

Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: mv alonso /dev/null

The amazing legend of John Two Spaces 20/01/2017 18:01

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Original: A incrível lenda do João Dois Espaços

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "Anonymous Student ";

Programmer: Duuuude!!! The primary key of this database is the student's name?
Alex: Weird, uh? It's legacy and no one is allowed to change...
Programmer: And how do they insert two students with the same name?
Alex: Oh, the directors have defined a "pattern" years ago... The first student with the name is inserted normally. If there was a new student with the same name, they would put an space after the name. A new one with the name, two spaces...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Let's trim!

A copy of the error 16/01/2017 04:12

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Original: Fax

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "Kako Silva";

User: Did you receive a copy of the error?
Programmer: Yes, but... I received only a blank page. I think the intern scanned the wrong side of the report...
User: No, that's the error. When we ask to print the report, it prints only a blank page!
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Good for those who can't read

Since when women know about programming? 14/01/2017 09:52

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Original: Desde quando mulher sabe programar?

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "Tammy Alcala";

(2 guys talking)
Guy: ... And also a Warlocks team, especially if they were 2 warlocks using fear + succubus
Programmer (woman): Wow! So that's how they feel when I talk about programming...
Guy: And since when women know about programming?
Programmer: Well, just since Ada Lovelace was the first programmer in history!

Strong colors 12/01/2017 14:23

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Original: Cores fortes

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "Kassi";

User: I want you change the colors of the software
Programmer: Alright, what colors do you want?
User: Strong colors, vibrating ones...
Programmer: But you have to choose them
User: I don't know what colors are disponible...
(Programmer chokes with coffee)
--
T-shirt: Extreme ToDo List

Responsible 02/12/2016 14:41

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Original: Responsáveis

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "Hudson Moreira";

Alex: So, let's do lunch?
Programmer: Man... We can't leave this code this way... They will think we're lazy...
Alex: Write a comment: /* We know it's still not good, but we will improve it */
Programmer: Still lazy...
ALex: Lazy, but responsible!
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: /* TODO: To think on a cool phrase to the t-shirt */

Why didn't I think of that 30/11/2016 16:01

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Original: Por que não pensei nisso antes?

Transcription ↓

real story;
string sender = "Andrei Izidro";

Programmer: Boss, what do you think about automatize the updates of payment statuses? We would save a lot of time
Boss: No, no... We can't waste time updating those payment statuses... So I thought you should create a routine to update those statuses automatically
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: You don't say?

 

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